Metal Gear Middle
by jackiechan
Summary: Cast of MGS3 as in a middle school. Snake & friends 8th grade, Ocelot 6th, Major Zero, 9th. FINALLY FINISHED!
1. Accepted

Metal Gear Middle a collaberation of jackiechan and tehstrongsauce

Chapter 1:Accepted

Jack stared at his class schedule while walking. He earlier recieved a letter saying he was accepted at Espionage Academy, the toppest notch espionage school anywhere.  
Evereyone at his orphanage was thrilled to see his accomplishment. He showed everyone his schedule, which read:

Doe, John ??? Grade 8 

Period 1: Astronomy, advanced Fury, The Period 2: Weopons Handling Boss, The

Period 3: Marksmanship End, The

Period 4: Camouflage Fear, The

Period 5:Zoology, advanced Pain, The

He tried not to rub it in or brag, but he was so excited, he couldn't contain it. And when he found out students lived there, he freaked. The orphanage kinda sucked,  
and its only use was sneaking around, which was where he got his ability. The minute he was able to, he packed his stuff and walked out to school. And never to return! Hahaha!  
"Dogshit, meet paper towel", were his exact words, walking with euphoria. And that is how he ended up only a block away from the school. He saw the sign, reading "Espionage Academy,Home of proud spies, grades 6-12"  
Jack almost shit himself with excitement. He powered his legs with as much force he could, the faster there, the better.  
After a minute or so of vigorous running, he finally found the entrance- to a 15 foot gate.

He saw a booth with a gaurd inside, and approached to inquire the situation.

"Excuse me, sir"  
The gaurd looked at him with a stern look.

"Schedule." he grunted. Jacked gave it to him.  
The man looked it over for a short while, then handed it back, saying "Follow me, Mr. Doe"  
"Oh Doe isn't my real la-" started Jack, but was inturrupted when a tall blonde woman approached. She looked, like the gaurd, stern. The gard handed her the schedule. She read it and said "you are the first new student in a while, John"  
"Call me Jack." said Jack.

The woman did not respond, but walked away, beckoning for him to follow. He trotted to catch up with her, and had to continue to do so, because she walked fast.

"I will show you to your dorm, wher you have your o.d. and equipment.You have two roommates, Sigint, and Para Medic. Those are codenames, and you need one to. Jack let out a small lagh that sounded like a "thhhhhh.  
Ok, Jack, I'll call you Snake from now on. You'd better hurry to your dorm, school will statr in 30 minutes.

Jack noticed they were walking, and had stopped in front of a room. The woman was gone, so he geussed the room was his dorm.  
He entered and found a nice three bedroom apartment, and in it were two other 8th graders, who he guessed were Sigint and Para-Medic.  
"Hello, I'm Para-Medic, and this is Sigint." said Para-Medic's sweet voice. Sigint just grunted.  
"I'm Ja- Snake. Nice to meet you. where's my room"  
"Oh, let me show you, Snake." Para-Medic said happily. He was led into a blank room, except for a bed and a uniform, which was a copy of the ones the other two had. "Thanks"  
Para-Medic nodded.

Remembering what the tall woman had said, he closed the door and put on the O.D. It wasn't too bad, and fit perfectly.

He exited the room to ask about the school,to see wahat the deal was. 

"Uh, Para-Medic?"

"Yes?" she responded.

"Since I'm new here, will you help me out?"

"Of course, roomie!"

"Ok, my classes. I know nothing about them."

Para-Medic looked at his schedule.

"Ok, Snake. First, you , me, and Sigint have the same schedules. It's a team thing. So we can help you out there. And, each dorm company, or team, has an i.d "thing". Ours is a bandana. You can put it anywhere, but you have to where it at all times, so people know you are with us. Here"  
Para-Medic handed him a bandana. He coolly placed it on his forehead, above his eyes. (You know, how he does it in the game.)

"Nice." Now we just wait until school starts. I'll walke you through everything. Just follow me."

The bell rang. It was a classic school bell, and rang all throughout the school.

"Showtime, Snake!" Para-Medic chimed.

"Show time" said Snake.

Well? Please review. I like where this story, and want to improve! 


	2. First classes

Chapter 2:First classes

Para-Medic instantly grabbed Snake's hand and rushed out of the room. She was almost dragging him through the crowd of other 8th graders, and a few times Snake was almost trampled. And due to the crowd,  
Snake couldn't tell where he was. He wanted to get there. After what seemed like 30 minutes, they arrived with the other students. And somehow, Sigint was already there.  
Jack thought "Maybe I should follow him next time"  
Snake chose a seat near the back, close to Para-Medic and Sigint. That made him feel a little better, because now he had some friends. Hope fully the teacher wasn't a wackjob.

He was. The Fury, his name, Snake thought it was just some wierd thing, and then he saw the fire suit and flamethrower. The entire class jumped, including Sigint, who hadn't really shown any emotion since Snake had met him.  
The Fury chuckled with a hollow, matallic voice.  
"Do not worry, students."said the man. I would not dare wrend you asunder with this wonderful weapon! Unless I come to hate you then you'll get it"  
No one said anything. The Fury laughed again. "Anyway, I am your atronomy teacher. But I am not teaching you normal, boring astronomy. This kind will help you understand the new idea that is space exploration. I have been to space, and let me tell you, it is amazing! When I returned, I said I will detroy the world"  
Again, the students were horrified. "Ah, fine. I'll just read off the role and insult your names until 2nd period"  
He did so, finding a joke for every one's name but Snake's and Sigint's. And then finally, finally the bell rang. Snake feared Para-Medic would instantly grab his wrist and take off, but this time she simply said "Follow me"  
This class was outside in a small field where the tall woman from earlier was standing next to some crates.

"Is this Weapons management?" Snake asked.  
"Yup" Sigint said, excited. Snake was excited too. The students all gathered around the woman. Snake looked around at the other students, identifying thier team's i.d. garment. One was a beret, and another was a patch.

Then the woman spoke. "I am The Boss, your Weapons teacher. Our first task is to be assigned a certain gun. I will look at you and gauge what weapon you should have.  
First: Sigint. Sigint stepped up. She gave him a good look, dug through a crate and dug out an AK-47. Sigint stared at it and took it, not releasing it from his sight.  
"Next: Snake." Snake stepped up and let The Boss look him over. She seemed to have a hard tome choosing, but quickly decided. She dug in the crate and took out an M14.  
Instantly the others gasped. Snake didn't know why, and walked over to Sigint, slinging the rifle over his shoulder.

"Whoah, Snake! You got an M14"  
"So?"Snake said, confused.  
"Snake, only the really GOOD ones get an M14! Full and Semi auto, it's not as good as most rifles, but the owners make good use of it.  
Para-Medic stopped by them with a simple Colt .45. She was a little dissapointed. "Man, Snake you got a cool rifle and all I get is a stupid Pistol." she said jokingly.

After The Boss had handed out the guns, she had target boards set up for practice. Snake and Sigint were the only two with assault rifles. The rest had either LMG's, pistols, or snipers.  
Snake and Sigint made it a contest to see who had the best aim, and niether had hit outside the bullseye, but still, Snake was more accurate.  
No one could matche thier skill. But to their displeasure, The Boss ended the session.

"Ok, now you have got the basics, I want you to keep those at all times. Never leave your weapon in your dorm.  
The students started to talke excitedely. They got to Keep their guns! They don't do that in normal schools!

The rest of Snake's classes were pretty dull. The End's class wasn't as fun as most had anticipated. mostly all they did was wait. The Fear's was mostly the same, but the students were freaked out by The Fear.  
The Pain's class was interesting, because he taght about the animals of certain eviornments and how to hint them.  
But finally the day was over, and Snake, with Para-Medic and Sigint, returned to the dorm.  
Snake opened the door to his room and put the rifle on his bed and returned to the living room to talk to his new friends.  
Sigint instantly asked him about the rifle, and compared it to the AK. Para-Medic mostly talked about the school, and her favorite classes.  
And for the first time in while, Snake felt at home. 


	3. New kid on the block

Chapter 3:New kid on the block

After many weeks of attending Espionage Academy, Snake had come to know almost everything about it. He Knew where everything was, what all the teachers were like,  
and who everyone was.

Until a new kid came to school. She was the new "most recent" student since Snake. He was anxious to meet the new kid when he heard it was a girl. No one had actually met her except for The Boss and the teachers, because she was only there for a small while.  
Snake became not the only person who was anxious to meet her. Many gossipped and fantasized about how she might be.  
Snake was too, laying in his bed until a knock came on the door. He geussed his roommates weren't there, or else Para-Medic would have immediately answered.  
The knock came again. "Hang on, I'm coming!" Snake called. Whoever was at the door was not very patient. He opened the door to find The Boss staring at him, for a few seconds, before she spoke.

"Snake, we have a new student, as you may have heard, and all the other dorms are full, so she will be a part of your team. Show her around and help her adapt." Before Snake could answer, she walked away and revealed the new girl. She was blonde, Snake's height, and already in an o.d.

"I'm Eva. I geuss I;m your new rommate."

"Yeah. Come on in. He walked around the living room, giving the same tour Para-Medic gave him. Eva was asking questions about the school when Par-Medic and Sigint walked in. They both froze at the sight of Eva.

"Uh, Snake? Who's your friend?" Sigint asked

"This is Eva, our new roomie. The Boss told me to help her out. "Ok," Para-Medic started in a voice Snake rexcognised all to well as a nag. "But we only have three rooms. Where will she sleep?"

"She can bunk with me." Snake said, trying to hold his excitement.

"Whatever you guys decide." Eva said.

"Oh I'm sorry! Where are my manners? I'm Para-Medic, and this is Sigint"  
"Hello." Eva said.

Well great! Eva, let me show you around. Snake entered his room. This is where you will stay. And me too.  
"But there's only one bed, I don't no you that well... yet.

"That's ok, I'll sleep on the floor untill there's a new one.

"Oh, thank you, Snake! Eva hugged him. He almost fainted.  
She sat on the bed and looked around the room and spotted the M14. Her eyes widedned.

"An M14, huh? Good on ya"  
Snake was surprised.  
"How do you know about that?" Snake asked a little suspicious.

"Oh, everyone knows about that stuff"  
"I didn't" Snake thought.

"Oh, yeah I forgot, every team has an i.d clothing garment. Ours is a bandana.

"The boss gave me one, but I didn't know whay until now." She put it on her arm.

"What do you think the head band was about?" Snake inquired.  
"I don't know, you looked so good with it." This time he blushed.

The bell rang. Snake instantly slung his rifle and said to Eva "Follow me"  
Snake walked out of the dorm and went down the hall, with Eva following. They reached the class and sat next to each other in the back.

"Now who's the new girl?" The Fury asked.  
"Eva." she said.  
"Ah, nice of you to join us.

"This week we were talking about the Vostok rocket and Yuri Gagarin"  
The Fury talked for minutes about the rocket and what it's like to be in space, and so on. The last thirty minutes of class were a blurr as The Fury told the students to pair up to individually discuss what he went over. The entire class jumped up and went to their friends, and Snake and Eva instantly went to each other.  
They began to smalltalk, but the bell rang, and Snake and Eva ended the conversation and headed for third period.

Snake walked down the hallway to the class, not getting to far away from Eva, so she wouldn't get lost.  
"So, Eva, how did you come here?"Snake asked.  
She was surprised by the question. She hesitated, and then said "My father was a CIA agent, and he taught me some basic material, in case we were persued by... bad people. There was a short pause and Eva asked "What about you?"

"Me? I was just an orphan, and picked up on this stuff on my own."

"What happened to your parents?"

"Who knows? I never knew them."

The two were quiet the rest of the way. Thet stayed together, but just didn't say anything. They did the usual gather around The Boss to see what class was about today.

"Today, we are going to diplay a battle. We will be using airsoft pellets, but we will be using smoke and stun grenades. Now, if you see a grenade land by you, DO Not TRY TO PICK IT UP. If you are shot with a pellet, you are out. Try not to, because this could really happen to you one day.  
Any questions?"

A kid from another team raised his hand.  
"Where will this be?"

"The battle will be in a field filled with trenches and pill boxes, up north a ways. We are trying to make this as real as possible. Now before we head for the site, we will pick teams. Snake and Major zero, an expert at this will be captains. "Hello." said Zero's british accented voice. Zero, because you are older, you will pick first.  
Zero examined all of them.

"Don't pick Eva." Snake thought.

"You." Zero said pointing to Eva.

"Shit." Snake thought.

Snake chose his friends, Sigint and Para-Medic, and a few others he did not know. Para-Medic. Sigint, and Eva were the only people he did know.

He picked out an airsoft rifle that lokked like an M16. It was full a semi auto.  
"As real as possible." Snake said to himself. The rest of the students picked out the guns, and gathered around The Boss.

"Ok, students, good luck." she said

"Good luck, Snake." Said Eva who was right next to him somehow.  
"Good luck, Eva."

Wat do you think? I need to know to improve!" 


	4. Distracted

Chapter 4: distracted

The range was enourmous. And like The Boss said, it was full of pillboxes, trenches, and even machine guns, which Snake guessed were pellet guns, too.

"All right. Zero, Snake, you will be the lieutanants. Your units will have to follow your orders. The objective is to either shoot all of the opposing members or take their bases.  
Now take your squads on either side and wait till I say to start. Immediately the teams walked to the ends of the range, in trenches.  
The Boss waited until everything was set.

"Start!"

Some others started firing, but at nothing, Snake hadn't come up, or any of his squad members. "Wait until they reload! Then Sigint and I will head for a base. Para-Medic, you and the others cover us. When you see we've taken the base, follow. Go! Snake took off, crouch running with Sigint right behind him. They found the base, and Snake saw an enemy inside. He instinctively fired and got him right in the heart.  
"Damn." he said and walked off the range. "Sigint! I'm gooing for the next base! Get Para-Medic and her squad to come up for suppressing fire"  
Sigint was a little surprised at how seriously Snake was taking this, but obeyed anyway. "Right on lieutenant!

Snake chrged out of the base, downing three more enemies as he went. And then a burst of machine gun fire hit right near his ankle. He instantly took cover in the trench. Pellets were hitting every where around him except for his body. He frantically surveyed his surroungs, looking for the gunner, and found that his barrel was aiming right at him. He braced himself for a horrible pain, but found none.  
He looked back at the gunner, and saw he was hit.

"I got you, Snake!" he heard Sigint yell."

Sigint! Move up and help me out here!" Snake got back up. He searched for the base,intending to rush it when Sigint arrived. He started firing on the one he found, hoping to scare them off. While he was occupied with this, he didnt notce the one sneaking up behind him.  
Snake heard a small snap, and instantly wheeled around to find Zero staring right at him smiling. Zero raised his gun, but before he could fire, Snake already got to him. He grabbed his arm and neck, and effortlessly flipped him.  
The wind was knocked out of Zero, and he could barely stand. Snake started in after the base, but, feeling confident, ignored the snaking trench way, he lept out of the trench and ran as fast as he could toward the base, dodging pellets from all around, and diving into the base for cover. He was doing great, without a scratch. But then he looked around and saw his squad under haevy fire, and thought of something to do.  
He put his gun on full auto and shot at the enemy, downing a couple, and the squad took the rest. Snake ran for the base, dodging more pellets, almost getting hit by a few.

He got in the base, to find Eva.

Niether af them said any thing. Snake noticed a smile on her face, and he wheeled around. He pulled the trigger, but nothing came out. Zero laughed.

"You never shot me Snake!"

"Your comrades are down, and I win." he said, smiling.  
Snake guiltily looked at Eva. She azoided his eyes. Then he felt a pellet hit him.

Small chap, but Ocelot is in next! 


	5. A lunch in hell

Chapter 5:

Snake was pissed off. He was too busy looking at Eva that he didn't watch his own back. And not only that, but the look on Zero's face. He should have shot him when he was on the ground.  
The rest of his squad was walking away from the range, defeated, and in pain. But even thogh they won, they were in the most pain. Snake was a madman!  
Half of the enemy team had giant welts on their heads or backs becauase of him. Man, without Eva to distract him, they would have been pulverized. Neither team spoke, especially Snake or Eva. Zero was getting that "I won because I am better than everyone" look, but Snake gave him a "Shut the fuck up or I'll deck you in the face" look.

The Boss was congratulating all the combatants as they passed, but when she reached Snake she pulled him aside.

"Snake, I'm going to be frank with you"  
"Frank Wilkinson?" said Snake, making a small author's joke that works better in movies.  
"No. Snake, the entire battle was just a test. And you failed"  
Snake was a little confused.

"Can you figure out what the test was?" The Boss askeed.  
And then it dawned on him. "Eva." he said simply.

"That's right. A test of whether you would let your emotions take over. When you saw Eva, you instantly lowered your gun, when the right answer was to fire.  
"But my gun was empty." Snake argued.  
"But you didn't discover that until you were ambushed by Zero, who I told to pick Eva before you did"  
Snake took all his anger and disapointment off himself and put it on The Boss.

"Why? Why me? Snake whined.

"Because, Snake. I was watching you the past couple of weeks, and was very impressed with your progress. And I've come to a conclusion. Despite your little mistake, I've decided to offer you a grade skip"  
Snake instantly thought of his friends, and Eva especially.  
"Hell no." was his responce. "Ok." The Boss said simply. "Now go to lunch, and don't be late.  
Snake had totally forgotten about lunch and darted away, stopping to pick up his gun.

He caught up to Eva, who was waiting for him.

"Did she tell you?" she asked.  
"Yes." Snake said flatly.

"What do you think?"

"Snake changed the subject, saying "Let's just go to lunch.

The cafeteria was always crouded, so Snake and his group always sat outside. Of course, they had to buy lunch inside, which was usually hectic, but today it was exceptional. Because of that kid...

Snake was buying lunch in the line, and he was lucky because today he gat a good spot. He was pretty happy with the way things were going, until some little punk in a red beret spoke up.

"So, your the Snake I've been hearing about," said the boy, accompanied by a long haired blonde boy. "I'm Ocelot."

Snake looked at him. He was a 6th grader, and he was a little shorter than Snake.  
"And.." Snake said, tired of b.s. today.

"I heard you got an M14. You must think you're pretty cool."

"No, I-" Snake started, but was interrupted by the kid.  
"Well I've got a revolver," he said twirling them in impossible throws and twists.  
Snake tried to ignore him, but he kept rambling on about his gun and Snake's. Finally, Snake got fed up and said, "Look, kid, I'm trying to get lunch. Just shut up and leave me alone."

Ocelot was obviously offended by this comment and holstered his rifle, clenching his fists. Snake was giving the lunch lady the money, and Ocelot charged at him, but was stopped by a hand. Snake was doing the classic "hand on head" hold. The whole line was laughing, except for Snake who just slammed Ocelot's face to the ground. Then he just simply walked away.  
He was halfway to the table when Ocelot's crony tripped him. He fell to the ground, spilling his food. Snake slowly stood up, and behind clenched teeth said, "That's it.

First he went to the kid who had tripped him, and punched him dead in the face. But then others in black masks and berets came and surrounded him.  
One was dumb enough to come at him. Snake smashed him in the face with the butt of his rifle, and took on the others. He did the same flip he did to Zero, and a few more things he thought of on the spot.  
Meanwhile, the crowd watching was cheering Snake, especially Sigint, who was getting an absolute kick out of this.

Snake had easily disposed of them, but was caught by The Boss, standing by Ocelot, who had obviously narced on him.  
The Boss gave Snake a soul peircing stare that would have usually caused a normal student to look away, but Snake didn't.

"Detention."The Boss said. 


	6. Off we go

Chapter6

Snake arose to his new enemy... the alarm clock. It was an old fashioned double bell one that mede the most obnoxious sound.  
The Boss gave it to him so he could start his detentions at 6 a.m.

Although he had to get up at an ungodly hour, he got to eat breakfast, which was the most important meal of the day.  
Snake jumped into his o.d. and noticed something askew... Eva was gone. Usually he would wake up to see her lihjtly sleeping,  
maybe even snoring quietly. Snake was ussually the first to rise, then Eva (due to Snake's loud movements,) then Sigint and Para-Medic.

Snake walked out to the living room and found Sigint awake, quietly reading his daily issue of Guns n' Ammo.

"Yo." he said, not even bothering to look away from the magazine. Snake walked out and headed to the cafeteria.

The sun hadn't even risen, and Snake's eyes were still sleepy. After his time at the school, he could walk to the cafeteria blondfolded.

When he got there, Ocelot was waiting for him. Snake tried to walk past without an encounter, because he couldnt stand to beat him up again.  
But, just as Snake anticipated, Ocelot started something.

The ordeal ended with yet another face slam. They would have fought, but the bell rang. Snake cooly walked to The Boss' office, where he learned his punishment.  
It was janitor duty. The whole day Snake had to clean the school. It seemed like years, but the day had finally ended.

Snake walked back to the dorm an hour late, because of the punishment. He walked drearily, until something had caught his eye.

A flash of blonde hair. He took cover behind a pillar and investigated. The girl turned out to be Eva. She was in the garden,  
crouching over with a radio.

Snake stepped forward, making sure his footstep was heard. Eva jumped and turned, laughing lamely.

"Snake, uh, what's up?" 

"Why do you have a radio?" Snake questioned.

Eva looked at the radio, and back at Snake. She stepped forward, zipping open the o.d. thrying to distract Snake. She stepped close to Snake, close enough to make him forget anything.

Snake stared at her, but then snapped out of it.

He smacked her chest aside, yelling "Get those things out of my face! Tell me the truth!"

Eva looked around, contemplating whether or not to reveal anything.

She stepped close to Snake, not to entice, but to inform.

"Remember how I told you my dad was a CIA agent? He was captured, and now I have to go get him."

"What!?" Snake said, shocked. "You can't just leave school!"

"I can and will, Snake. And don't get in my way."

"Or what? You'll beat me up? Try it."

She hesitated, and kicked at his head. Snake effortlessly ducked, and blocked everything.

When she realized she couldn't win, she tried to run to some motorcycle, but she was stopped.

"Let me go." Snake said.  
"Why?" Eva responded.

"I can help. Just let me get my gun."

"I have it."

"Why?"

"It's better than my type 15, but it's yours hop in." She said reluctantly.

Snake got in the side car, and with an unexpected lurch they were off. And Snake had not yet realized what shit he got into.

Yet. 


	7. into the base

chapter 7

Hang on! last second edit!

The ride was intense. Eva never drove below 50 m.p.h, even if she turned, which scared the crap out of Snake. They drove on a dirt road that was surrounded by trees,  
and was rocky the whole way. Snake wanted to ask questions, but not even a shout could be heard over the noise. He would have to wait until they arrived. After 2 hours of seeing trees, Snake finally saw something interesting. A building the size of a hotel,  
surrounded by barbed wire fences and guards. Eva turned to the left, not to get away, but to get around. They were far enough away for the guards not to see them but close enough to see how many there were. Snake guessed maybe 9 or 10, the right amount for the size of the building.

The motorcycle lurched to a stop, almost throwing Snake off.

"What's going on?"

"We have to get in that building," Eva said simply. "load up."

Snake dug into his ammo pouch which he guessed Eva loaded, and loaded his rifle.

"Follow me." Eva said.

They approached low and silently, careful not to be noticed. They stayed in the bushes, and Eva pulled out binoculars and scanned the area.

"Ok, Snake. We can do this only one way. Silently, so no guns."

"Then how will we do this?" Snake asked.

"We'll figure that out. Just follow me."

Eva took out wire cutters and made a hole in the fence. She crawled through, and Snake followed.

The fenced off area was like a courtyard, but with a dirt ground and random crap like barrels and boxes laying around.  
The two used them to there advantage, hiding and ducking behind barrels when appropriate.

After a while with no progress, thay needed a new plan. The only problem was the guards by the doorway. The first plan was to wait, but that didn't work.  
it took a while, but Snake finally got an idea. He picked up a stone and threw it at a barrel, making a loud "ping" noise.

The guards instantly flocked to it, and Eva and Snake, without hesitation, ran to the door. They opened it to find a large tunnel with a guard staring right at them.

He instantly wung around, blowing a whistle and yelling.

Snake scrambled for his rifle, but Eva got there first. She snatched out her Type 15 and shot the man through the shoulder.  
The guard instantly grunted and hit the ground.

Eva darted down the tunnel, but Snake tried to barricade the door. The other guards were smashing it, kicking, anything to get in.

Snake's mind was racing. Now what?

Then he got an idea. Something so stupid, it had to work. Snake let go of the door.It swung open, and he hid behind the open door. The guards looked around,  
but couldn't find Snake. He almost died laughing, his hiding place was so stupid.

The guards left the room, radioing for backup.

And just when Snake thought he was safe, he did the most stupid thing. He laughed out loud.

He tried to quiet the laugh before it was heard, but it was too late.

The guards had him, and took him out of the tunnel. They threw him down on the ground, taking his gun, and started questioning him.

When he didn't answer, one punched him in the face.

"Ooh, you're dead now." Snake said angrily. He jumped at him, floored him, while at the same time taking his pistol. H shot the remaining ones.

Snake looked around. Did he just do that? He just killed people!

Snake holstered the pistol, slung his rifle and ran through the tunnel, hoping the guilt wouldn't follow.

Snake regretted ever coming. 


	8. What?

Chapter 8

Snake kept running down the tunnel, which seemed to never end. Even when he tired, he kept going.  
He just killed people who he had never known, who had never harmed him.(Except for the guy who hit him.)

After an eternity of running, the tunnel opened up to reveal a swampy, wet-type place. Not knowing where to go, Snake bounded off in a random direction.  
He wished he could somehow reach Eva, or find the appropriate place to go.

Snake just gave up and sat down, defeated. He stared at the ground, thinking of a solution. For 10 minutes he just stared, until he noticed something.  
Footsteps.

They had to be Eva's, Snake thought, so he immediately got up and followed them. He was taken through horrible puddles,  
almost sinking with every step. It took twice the effort a normal walk would have, and twice the determination.

Snake followed for a long time, and the track suddenly stopped. He totally lost it.  
He backtracked and followed and frantically looked around for the track, but it was no use. Snake looked up, and felt a sense of relief. He was near anoither outpost.

Remembering the guards, he silently creeped, crouching with his rifle ready. Hopefully he wouldn't have to use it. Snake creeped up against the fence, scanning the area for guards.  
For some reason, they weren't in their normal posts. By the doors, along the fence, anything. Something had to be up.

Ever so cautiously, Snake moved in, constantly looking over his shoulder, but still advancing. He looked around, and everywher else except one corner. Snake peeked over and found them all gathered... around Ocelot.

Snake immediately pulled back around the corner, thinking how this was possible. He double checked, just to prove what he just saw.  
His eyes were right. There Ocelot was, talking to the troops with that condescending look on his face. They didn't notice Snake, and Ocelot just kept talking. Then, Ocelot directed them into a door way, but he stayed.

"Snake, you can come out."

Snake was shocked. He didn't let it show of course, and rounded the corner.

"I've been waiting for you, Snake. This time I'll show you whose better around here"  
Ocelot pointed his Revolver at Snake, who didn't flinch, despite the life-taking gun in his face.

Snake laughed and drew his rifle.

"Haven't I kicked your ass enough, kid?" Snake said.

"Shut up! Let's go!"

Ocelot fired the first round, which missed Snake. Snake shouldered the M14 and fired at Ocelot, not really intending to kill him. Ocelot ducked under a barrel, and avoided the barrage.  
Snake took this opprotunity to go CQC him. (CQC was his name for it.)

Snake was right in the zone, but when he was about to grab him, he couldn't.

"If you have a rifle, CQC won't work!" Ocelot laughed.

"What? What the hell?"

Ocelot recovered and pointed the gun in Snake's face. But he stopped.

"Damn! He found us!"

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Snake said.

"The bees!" Ocelot snarled.

"I'll get you later, Snake!" Said Ocelot as he jumped the fence and ran.

Snake was confused. What bees?

"Must be a game glich." 


	9. Short, but suspenceful chapter

Chapter 7

Snake proceeded through the next door, shaking off the strange incedent.

He couldn't wrap his mind around why Ocelot was there, or what the hell was going on. He hoped the building he was in would explain something.  
Maybe he could go home. It had been only a day sincwe he left the school, but it seemed like a week. Snake never thought he would miss a school, but then again,  
Espionage Acedemy wasn't normal. Neither were the teachers. The Fear was a freak.

Snake walked cautiously through the building, always peeking over corners to make sure there were no guards, which so far hadn't showed yet. He was about to enter a door when he heard a voice on the other side. He listened in and heard two. One of them was Eva's.

Snake was so shocked and relieved at the same time. He was relieved because he found Eva. He was shocked becuase he didn't know who she was talking to.  
It was a booming voice, loud enough to hear with ear plugs in.

"Is he here?" the voice said.

"Of course! We were in the same motorcycle."

"Will he haed this way? My orders were to wait and end the simulation."

"Trust me, he'll come." said Eva.

Snake heard a door open and close, guessing they had left. He carefully entered, puzzled. What "simulation"? What "orders"?

Snake opened the door ever so slightly, and saw a guard patrolling the outside premesis. There was another behind him, so he couldn't just shoot him in the head.

Snake looked around the small room and saw a spinning gray box with weird white letters reading "SP/M1911A1."

Confused, Snake grabbedit and opened it, finding a silencer. He fixed it onto the pistol he got from the guard earlier.

"Score." Snake laughed. How lucky.

Snake reopened the door, waited until the otherguard wasn't looking, and shot the guard. He went down hard, making a loud thump. The second guard turned and jumped at the sound, but before he could do anthing else,  
Snake downed him, too.

Not looking for other guards, Snake took off to the corner and ran to a big open part with a radio tower... and an F-4 Phantom.

Instinctively, Snake ducked, hoping the monster jet wouldn't shoot him. He instantly noticed no one was around, and got up, luaghing lamely.  
He got closer to the jet, looking at the open cockpit and wings, with gigantic missiles shining.

Snake had read about F-4's and had been fascinated about them since. And becuase he was a student at Espionage academy, he knew how to fly one. Well, by theory. He was so tempted to climb in, but that would waste time.  
He had to move.

Dissapointed, he walked to the door. He had just reached it when he heeard a gunshot.

And felt the bullet hit his leg. 


	10. Back to square one

Chapter 10

Snake had heard The Boss describe what being shot was like. She said it was like thirty punches in the arm times ten.  
Snake was actually curious as to what she meant about that, and almost wanted to find out. He wished he hadn't. In reality, the sight was worse than the pain; seeing your body be ripped open by a small metal thing was not very pretty. Blood was gushing out of Snake's leg, soaking his olive drab with a sickening red.

He ran for cover, trying as best he could to not upset his injured leg, which was failing, each step sending a fresh shockwave of pain through his leg. Snake dove under the Phantom and applied pressure to his leg while looking for the sniper. Minutes had gone by, and Snake noticed something. There were no more gunshots. Nervously, Snake crawled out from the jet, keeping ina position where he could get backe under cover if the sniper fired again. Minutes went by. Still cuatiously taking it, Snake got up and limped to the door. He turned the rusty knob and pushed, but the door did not open.

"Locked!" Snake growled. How would he get through? He couldn't turn back now, after being this far. Besides, he didn't know how to get back. Snake looked around the outside walls looking for a hole in thhe wall, or something to get him in. Luckily, there was a ladder leading to the roof, which was only abou fifteen feet up. He hopped up, climbing with one leg to make it easier on his leg. It took an effort to get on the top, but he got there.

The building, Snake discovered, was a lot bigger than what he expected. It stretched for at least a half mile, and the same for the width. He went in the same direction he was headed, looking for a way into the building. He was on the roof for minutes before finding a way. Quickly he opened the hatch, but froze when he heard a gun load.

Slowly he looked at the shooter, hoping to see who would kill him.

It was Eva.

"Eva! Where have you been! Who were you talking to?" Snake blurted, moving closer to Eva.

"She didn't respond, but instead pointed the gun at his head.

"What the.. Eva!"

Again, she said nothing. Instead the booming voice from before spoke.

"Good work, Eva. You beat the best. Truly an accomplishment."

The man was huge, at least 6' 4, and had a strange electricity on him.

He looked at Snake with a weird look.

"Where are my manners? I am Volgin, the head of this "simulation", if you will."

"What are you talking about?" Snake demanded.

"This," he said, gesturing with his arms. "This place."

"What simulation?"

"This was all fake. a test. And thanks to Eva, you will prabably die."

Snake looked at Eva, who was slightly sobbing.

"What? This was all fake!?" Snake questioned.

"Eva, I tire of this. Terminate him." Said Volgin.

Eva stepped close and said in barely a whisper, "Come back for me. Help. Save me."

"Eva!"

"No!" Eva yelled.

Volgin, infuriated, bellowed "The deal has been broken! You will suffer!"

Snake saw he was going towards Eva, and Snake shouldered his rifle and fired.

Volgin stopped in his tracks, enraged.

"You first, then!"

Volgin punched Snake in the stomach at the speed of lihjt, knocking him out instantly. As he hit the ground, he tried to evaluate what happened.

He woke uop in a bed in a room he recognized as Espionage Academy's clinic.

"Damn it!" 


	11. Into The Air

Chapter 11

Snake awoke in the scratchy bed of the clinic. He was so furious at that Volgin. Eva told him to rescue her, and that's what he would do.

He jumped out of the bed, and in midair remembered his wound, but when he landed, it didn't hurt! Snake instantly scanned his leg and found the wound was almost fully healed.  
That meant he was out for day. That meant Eva could be dead by now.

He forced that thought from his mind and ran out the doors, making a loud boom. It was night time, but he didn't care if he woke anyone up.

Snake ran to his dorm, which was all tha way acroos the school. Though it was pitch black, Snake could navigate the school blindfolded, which was a dare he took up way earlier.

Snake finally reached his dorm, and there waiting for him was The Boss.

"I thought you would come." she said calmly.

"Boss, move. I have to get Eva back." Snake said, temper already rising.

"Snake I won't get in your way. In fact I came to answere some questions."

"Like what?"

"Volgin. The "Simulation". Eva."

Snake did not respond, so The Boss continued.

"The simulation was a test to gauge your skills. You are the best student to attend this school in 50 years, Snake. There will be governments begging to have you at their disposal.

The simulation was overseen by Volgin, but he revolted. Apparently, The Soviets paid a better bill. Now he is serious. He has captured Eva and is in a remote desert in Nevada setting up a base for silos.

You have to stop him, Snake. Only you can."

He's in Nevada! How the hell will I get to Nevada in time.

The Boss chuckled.

"Follow me."

They walked out into the courtyard. And there it was. The beautiful F-4 from the base.

"You will fly.

Snake stopped smiling.

"An F-4 is a two seater." he commented.

"The RIO has been replaced with a high tech computer. It'll get the job done.  
The seat for it has all your needed equipment."

Snake hesitated.

"Are you serious?"

"Just go, Snake."

This time, without hesitation, Snake jumped in. Luckily, he was tall enough for the seat.

The Boss lit up the runway and Snake started the jet. He accelerated and pulled the stick towards him, and within seconds, he was off.

This would be fun. 


	12. Dogfights ain't got nothin on me

Chapter 12: "Dogfights ain't got nothin on me

A/N: It would help you understand this chapter if you watch the show "Dogfights." If you don't, start. It's on the history channel at 10.

Since his first, Snake had loved rollercoasters. The stomach jump. the G- force pulling on him, and everything. The second Snake was high up, he realized it would be like a roller coaster with no limits.  
It was a long way to Nevada, so Snake decided to have a littele fun. He climbed a couple thousand feet to save fuel. After he thought he was high enough, he jerked at the control stick, sending him into a tight barrel roll. Instantly he flipped sideways, hurling through the sky. Snake released the stick and righted the plane.  
He cried with euphoria. Snake then realized he would be stuck in a plane for at least a couple hours with nothing to do. Already he began to get bored. He looked at all of the instruments with no real care. He lazily hit the rudder pedals, zipping left and right. As he continued to look at the instruments, when he noticed a slight beeping. He looked in one of the specially made mirrors that showed him the radar screen. There was a dot, closing in fast on his 4 o' clock.  
Snake turned around, a little panicky. And there it was.

A MiG 21. :What's a MiG doing in America?!" Snake asked himself. It was camoed like Snake's, and the missiles were gleaming. Snake's mind was racing. Was the MiG close enough to shoot him with a missile? How would he get away? Would he have to dogfight?  
Snake looked around again. It wasn't quite close enough to get a lock, but it could easily catch up if Snake didn't do something.

The MiG started firing its machine guns, trying to scare Snake into slipping, but he was to smart. Since the MiG was far away, the bullets wouldn't come near him. But now the MiG was closing in. Snake knew he could fire a missile.

Snake pulled the stick so he dove in a sharp turn. The MiG followed, not missing a beat. Snake pulled the stick the other way, slowing him down, and The MiG overshot. Snake dove after him and searched for the trigger. He put his finger on it, waiting for a lock. Snake was almost going 90 degrees straight down, prepared to fire, when the MiG suddenly pulled up, escaping Snake. Distracted, Snake did not notice how low he had descended, but did so right in time. He jerked the stick as hard as he could towards him, laying a gruesome high- G manuever.

He felt like his face would be pulled off. Dazed, Snake looked for the MiG. He looked all around, but it was nowhere.  
And then more gunfire sounded behind him, this time screaming right over his cockpit. Becuase the pull Snake did, The MiG overshot again, and Snake shoved the throttle forward. A staticky sound came into his headset, and he had a missile lock. Without hesitation, Snake pulled the trigger. A missile instantly screamed away from the right wing, and the MiG was totally destroyed.

Snake dodged the debris, his plane rocked from turbulence.

Just as he was about to relax, three more MiGs had appeared, coming straight at him. Snake instantly thought of a badassed trick. He would fire a missile right into one of the MiG's cockpit. Even without a lock, it would still run right into it, like an explosive bullet.

The MiGs were closing faster and faster, getting closer and closer. Snake waited for the perfect moment. One MiG started firing, but Snake ignored it. He waited until he was about a thousand feet away, then fired a missile and did a Split S, (watch the show or read a book to find out) and dove to the ground, the metal flying past his left wing.

And not only did he take out an enemy, he lined up another shot. With the decreased sped from the dive, when he climbed back up, he was right behind the other MiG.

It was a perfect shot. The static rang in the headset and he fired. He thought the MiG would explode, but it was smart. It knew exactly when to dive. Its dive took on to many G's for the missile to follow. Instead, it hit the MiG in front of it.

"Whoa!" Snake yelled.

With no time to think, he done after the MiG, but it wasn't there. Snake pulled up and frantically looked for it.

To his mis fortune, it was right behind him, in perfect range for a missile. Snale said his prayers and thought about what would the impact be like. He was prepared for it.

He looked in the rear view mirror and saw the missile fire. He saw it come at him. But it never hit. The missile went ballistic.  
Snake almost cried with relief. And he took it to hs advantage. Snake knew the pilot would be distracted, so he yanked the throttle back and instantly slowed down. The MiG shot over his head, and Snake threw the trottle forward again.

He was in the right range, but he didn't have a lock. He had missiles left. What was up?

The MiG had realized what happedned and was starting to try to escape. Snake decide to just fire and hope for the best.

When he pulled the trigger, a missile from the left wing shot, and Snake didn't think it would hit, but at the last second, the MiG turned into it, not noticing it and exploded. Snake yelled in victory.

And then more MiGs came. And more.

"This sucks" 


	13. First encounter

chapter 13

Snake instantly dove. The MiGs would not let him go, not after killing some of their own.

The MiGs followed, pulling a high-G pull on their body. Snake thought his eyes would pop out of his head. Snake had to pull out. For his sake.

The MiGs hadn't missed a beat. They were right on his tail every second of the way.

And to make things worse, MiGs came from his 12 o' clock. Knowing he would die, Snake lashed out. He fired every missile he had, locked on or not, at the MiGs. Some made contact, some missed. Even though he hit some, some lived.

He looked in the rear view mirror and saw a missile fly at him.

Horrified, he scrambled for the eject button and jammed it. Instantly he screamed out of the cockpit right as the missile made contact. Debris flew at him, luckily missing. But now he had a new threat. The MiGs shooting him while he was falling.

But instead they pulled away. Snake's pulse returned, and he sighed in relief. Snake looked down. With an incredible stroke of luck, he had reached the drop zone. It was similar to the base from before, but a little more elaborate and at least twice the size. Snake scanned the area for his supplies that were in the other seat, and found them lightly falling about 20 feet away. Looking down, he realized he was about to drop right in front of a gaurd. He scrambled for a pistol or a knife that he could subdue the gaurd with, and reached in a pocket and pulled out a... directional microphone. Snake groaned with displeasure, but was also laughing because only here would this happen.

Snake looked down and noticed the gaurd was asleep. He sighed a heavy sigh. He landed about 5 feet away from the sleeping man, and as quietly as possible, unlatched the gear and creeped by. Then the man seemed to hear and woke up, embarrassed that he had fallen asleep. Snake panicked, and looking at the microphone in his hand, he ran up and bashed him in the head. He instantly fell, like a led baloon.

"That was better than a gun" Snake laughed. He walked in the direction of his gear and found it still connected to the parachute. He unlatched it, opened the bag, and looked through his gear. He was equipped with his usual M14, M1911, quite a bit of ammo for both, and thermal goggles. Then he looked again and noticed a magazine. It was a - a porno magazine! Snake grabbed it up, about to look inside, but taped to it was a note saying, "do not read" He scowled, and either way, he needed to move. And he still had that stupid directional microphone.

He loaded all his guns and headed for the first door. And then something in his pocket...rang! He dug inside it and pulled out a square shaped box with a headphone and an "on" switch. He put the phone in his ear and turned on the "on" switch, and a voice came out.

"Snake! You figured out the codec quicker than I thought!"

"Sigint!?"

"Yeah! The Boss let me and Para-Medic in on everything. But down to business. Behind that door you are about to enter are 3 guards armed with Ak-47's and grenades" So storming through might not be the best way to go."

"Then what do I do?"

You could draw one out. Go up to the door and knock by pressing the action button"

What? What are you talking about?"

"Nevermind. Just knock on the door."

"Fine."

He turned offcodec off.

Snake thought of his next move.

He knocked on the door. A few seconds later a gaurd came out, looing around wildly. Snake smashed him in the head with the mike again, because he thought it was pretty funny, but as the man fell, rounds started going off out the door, barely missing Snake. He dove to the ground and thought of what to do. Luckily, this was part of his plan. He dragged the unconcious man away from the door and took his grenades. He pulled the pin on one and lobbed it in. The firing stopped and the grenade ignited. Snake stepped in, using his pistol, not wanting to waste his m14's ammo.

He scanned the small hallway and looked at the bodies. One got up and pinted his rifle at Snake. Without missing a beat, Snake pulled the trigger and finished him. He took their grenades and a knife, and walked on. The hallway wasn't very long, but at the end was just another one going horizontally, and led to more hallways. He headed north, because that's always the right way in video games, and was lead to a door. With a grenade in hand, he opened that door silently, and found Ocelot just silently reading a comic book.

Ocelot looked up, uninterested.

'Oh, Snake, I have been expecting you" he said, completely emotionless.

"Um, aren't you supposed to shoot at me?" Snake asked

"Huh? Oh, no, that's ok. Just go that way" he said, pointing down another hall.

"Ok"

"You're welcome" Ocelot said, getting back to his comic book.

Snake just shook that off and got back to his mission. He opened a door and found a big base with barracks and buildings and soldiers with searchlights. Snake sighed, and creaped down the stairs. It was still around 5:00 in the morning, but no one seemed tired. That means that they have shifts, which means there are more guards.

"Alright, let's go." 


	14. Onwards

Chapter 14 

The minute Snake moved, he tripped down the stairs, making a series of loud noises. He instantly recovered from the embarrassing and stupid incident and ran for cover behind some oil drums. He heard a group of guards run to investigate. He didn't dare look over the edge. He just listened, barely breathing. They called in to more guards on he radio saying it was nothing. They quietly walked away, returning to their posts. Now even more alert, Snake crept out of his hiding place. He looked around, thinking he'd seen this place before. He ducked down and called Sigint.

"Snake! What's up?"

"This place, it looks so familiar."

"Yeah, remember in The Boss' class when we studied Groznyj Grad?"

"Yes, but I'm still in America. Right?"

"Of course. But these guys built an exact replica of it!"

"What? How the hell would they do that?"

Apparently, the Russians shipped small parts of it in their import ships. It took a LONG time to do that, to. About 15 years."

That's insane!"

"Well you know how those commies are"

Sigint hung up.

Snake continued. Walking low, he advanced, sneaking past guards and dodging search lights.

Looking off to his left, he noticed an armory. He could use some extra ammo, just in case.

Drawing his pistol, he slowly walked over. Then right as he was about to open the door, a man came out. He hid behind the door, which for some reason hasn't yet failed him.

The guard seemed to just walk on, so Snake ran in. In it he found quite a bit of damage inducing material. An entire box of grenades, boxes and boxes of clips, which Snake hoarded,suppressors, and a whole SVD, just sitting there. He thought he had found everything he needed, until... a ...a. BOX!

Snake instantly jumped under it and felt a wave of sudden relief rush over him. He could of fallen asleep. After all, it was only about 4:30 in the morning. He resisted the urge and packed everything up. He had to disassemble the SVD to fit it in the bag. He pocketed the supressors and clips, and latched only a few grenades. He didn't feel safe with too many on him.

Carefully opening the door, he darted out and secured a silencer to his pistol. Now he had to figure out a way to the next building. In fact, he had no idea which building he was supposed to head for. He called Sigint again.

"Hey, Snake"

"Sigint, I just realized I have no idea where to go."

"Oh, that's right. I'm surprised you didn't call earlier"

"You know you can call me"

"Yeah, but we don't want to bother you"

"Anyway, your objective is in the building after the next. The floorplan consists of an open area, building, open area, etc. You seem to have done ok with the open, but inside you'll have to get some new tricks, There won't be as much space or places to hide. But in the second building there is a hall. Go down that hall and enter the first door on the left. Call me when you get there."

Sigint hung up.

Snake peeked over the crate he was hiding behind. He saw the door was guarded by three men, pacing around it.

Snake was tired of sneaking around. He wanted to do something. He pulled out his silenced pistol and aimed carefully. Three shots, and three kills. He landed three headshots and as soon as he found they were dead, he ran to the door. He had to slow down so he wouldn't make noise. He carfully opened and closed the door. The room was a cream color, and filled with sentries. He jumped behind a corner. He knew he had to get to the other side of the building, but he had to do it stealthily. Then it hit him. He pulled the box out and got in it. This was the best idea ever! "Fuck Einstien, I got a box."

He walked in the box, and ducked when a guard showed up, and in no time he was out. He lifted off the box and noticed..well, a problem. He called Sigint again.

"You there already, Snake?"

No, but remember how you said it was open area, building, open area?

"Yeah"

"Well, there's a huge fucking cliff right in front of me!"

'Well Snake, you are in a desert, not Russia, so they must have had to adapt. Look for a bridge or some-"

Sigint's word was cut off as Snake was launched back.

There was a huge pain in his chest. He looked down and found a bullet embedded in his radio, which was giving off sparks. He was saved. He ran for cover behind a box. More shots went off, barely missing him. Snake loaded his M14 and started to fire at the invisible target.

He noticed the shots seemed to be strafing, but across the canyon! Ther had to be a bridge. Still firing, he headed towards the gunshots. He reloaded and noticed the shots had stopped. He crept toward where they came from, pointing his rifle. He was then knocked aside by a man. He knocked Snake to the ground and started choking him. With every second it became hard to breathe. Desperate, he flailed around, and saw the man had grenades latched to his suit. Without missing a beat, he yanked the pin on one, and when the man recoiled and looked down at the grenead, Snake kicked him back and dove away, the explosion nearly hitting him.

He got up and slung his rifle.

"And that is why I don't keep too many grenades."

A/N

Vaporeaon-Chan- I'd be happy to co write something. Lay some Ideas on me.


	15. oh crap

Snake wiped himself off. Everyone knows you couldn't successfully execute a mission with a small amount of dust on you. He walked past the bridge, fighting to keep his balance, which was difficult due to the fact that it was constructed of rope. After a minute or so of playing with the weight shift, snake continued. He entered the building, drawing his silenced pistol. Cautiously, he crept along the walls, and suddenly heard a sound. He peeked around the corner, and saw a guard. He aimed his pistol and pulled the trigger.

But nothing came out. He cursed under his breath and quite noisily reloaded his gun. He looked up, and found a guard aiming at him, with a wierd look on his face. Snake stared back, "of shit" were his thoughts.

"If you shoot me, you're gay!" Snake said, pointing. The guard immediately replied

"What! Nuh uh! You're gay!"

"No! You are!"

It continued this way until eventually the guard forced Snake's gun to his head and made him pull the trigger saying, "Haha, YOU'RE gay!" before tumbling to the ground, dead.

"Damn, I'm good." Snake boasted to himself. "Anyway," he thought, continuing down the hallway. The buildings were practically the same, with the same wall color, and snaking of hallways. Snake knew exactly where to go because of this. Hoping to avoid the previous scene, he checked all of his ammo levels, realizing he was declining in everything but his M14. It would be loud, but he had to use it. He decided to call Sigint.

"Snake? What's up?"

"Is there a way to silence an M14?"

"No, not that I know of."

"Damn. I'm almost out of everything BUT my M14."

"Well, there is an alternative." Sigint began.

"Yeah?"

"It's called an EBR m14. It's an Enhanced Battle Rifle. It has a retractable stock, and I'm sure you can add a suppressor to it. And you're in luck; there is one very near to your location."

"Good! Where?"

"Apparently, in the room next to you."

Snake opened the door, sifted through boxes and found it.

"Sigint, it looks... kinda gay."

"Yeah, but you need it. You don't have to give up your regular one, so I guess you can only gain."

"Sure. Out."

Snake said, ending the transmission. He added a suppressor to it, loaded it, and went off. He was already at the end of the building, and abou t to leave the building, until he heard a faint cry.

"Snake!"

He instantly whirled around and followed the voice. It led him to a huge double door, about 15 feet high. He opened the door, drawing his new weapon. Instantly, a huge, squarish metal machine revealed itself. It was dark orange and red, and atop it was Volgin, holding Eva by the neck. He carefully aimed his rifle, and fired a single shot- directly into Volgin's head. He instantly crumpled, taking Eva with him, who soon freed herself of his grip.

"Snake! I knew you would come!" she yelled, running down a spiral staircase from the machine.

She embraced him, and quickly kissed him, catching him off gaurd.

"Let's go." she said forcefully.

"What? I just capped that motherfucker in the head! I wanna see it!"

"No! He's alive still! Just go! Now!"

Snake was interrupted by Eva tugging on his sleeve, dragging him with her. They went down the neverending hallway, and were greeted by soldiers who heard the gunshot. Snake didn't hesitate to pull the trigger, and dropped three quickly. Eva snagged his M14 and started to fire.

"Wait, trade guns!" Snake said. Eva looked at him wierd, but obeyed. Snake gripped his favorite gun, pulling the trigger and sending bullets into men's flesh. After they were all dead, Snake and Eva continued. Although this time, Eva took a new turn down an unfimiliar hallway.

"Hey! The exit's that way!" Snake cried.

"This is a shortcut!" Eva replied.

They bursted through a door, and saw a motorcycle and sidecar, an open road, and am open fence.

"Why couldn't I land here?" Snake said.  
Eva jumped onto the seat, and Snake in the sidecar. They rode away, with no bullets flying at them. Snake turned back around, and calmed down. Then there was a rumble, and a huge crash. Snake turned around.

It was Volgin, and the machine, in hot persuit. 


	16. Lame ass attempt at an ending

A/N: Jesus, it's been so long since I've updated this story. I've missed it. So just in case, anyone's missed it, here's the final chapter! A LOT of detail was omitted, and I dont care, I just finally wanted to finish it. So enjoy!

"Holy shit!" Snake screamed at the sight of the big mecho-monster. There weren't enough swear words for him to yell, but he sure did try to name them all.

Snake wasted ammo on it, firing as fast as he could. That's what she said.

Volgin's voice boomed over an intercom:

"Snake! I'm going to kill you! Everyone will praise me! Muahahahahahah!"

"How do we beat him, Snake!?" Eva yelled desperately.

"I dont know! Maybe he'll do some redundant but revealing manuever that will expose a weak area!"

"What!? That's stupid! Why would he do that!?" Eva said. She was now driving in circles, trying to buy time to think of a plan.

"I've got a plan! I'll get on the ground and try to blow him up!"

"How? i cant slow down or he'll run us over!"

"I'll jump!" Snake said, and as he went to leap out of the moving vehicle, he realized it was just that, a _moving_ vehicle. He peed his pants a little. He turned to Eva, who must have sensed his fear, and proceeded to kick him in the ass, shoving him out. He landed on the ground, rifle in hand, and thought of something. He stood in the open, fist on chin, in deep thought. As Eva zoomed by, she yelled

"Thought of anything yet!?" and swerved away from Volgin, who seemed to have forgot about Snake. All Snake could think about was that goddamn starbucks commmercial! Damn them and that stupid catchy song!

But that was it! Starbucks meant coffee. Whenever Snake drank coffee, it felt like his mouth was exploding. He just cant sip it, he has to gulp his drinks! But RPG's make things explode!

"I want an rpg!" he yelled to some divine force. He dug into his handy dandy pocket and pulled out an RPG.

"Just my luck!" he exclaimed.

Then he stopped. "Now I want three really hot chicks!" In response, a bullet shot through his arm.

"Ow, ok!" he yelled in pain, shouldering the rpg. Volgin was still chasing Eva, and would occasionally stop to show his weak spot. Snake took aim and fired, blowing up the monstrosity. A ferocious explosion occured, and out of it came Eva, on her motorcycle.

"Good job, Snake!"

**A/N: I'm too goddamn lazy to stage an actual boss battle and insert little jokes, so just make something up, and laugh at that. **

Snake and Eva finally arrived back at Espionage Academy, after hours of driving, and an embarrasing ordeal where Snake fell asleep and his head fell on Eva's chest. She got mad, but he knew she liked it.

The Boss, Sigint, and Para-Medic greeted them. Para-Medic hugged Snake, earning a dissaproving glance from Eva, and Sigint did one of those really annoying, really long handshakes that made Snake just want to cut his hand off.

"Good job, you guys. You have succeeded, and very well, I might add." The Boss said, shaking their hands. "You four have shown extreme talent, and we are prepared to offer the ultimate promotion."

"No!" Snake interjected.

"What? Why not?" Sigint said, followed by similar comments from the other two

"I dont want a fucking sequel! I got shot twice, and it hurts!"

"Ok Snake, but no matter what you do, there will always be a sequel." said the Boss.

"What the hell does that mean?" Snake asked

"You'll see."

The others just shook off the encounter, and headed back to the dorm. Snake and Eva were hand in hand, and Snake was staring down her shirt.

"So, what'd we miss?" Snake asked, when they were all sitting in the living room.

"I was diagnosed with cancer." Para-Medic said.

"Ahahaha, yeah, I missed you too." Snake said, the other laughing.

"Anyway, what was the mission like?" Sigint asked.

Snake described all of his lame ass tricks, all of which impressed Sigint, and Eva told them how funny it was to shoot Snake in the leg. They all laughed, and all was right. After 30 or more minutes of catching up, they decided to turn in, and walked to their rooms. Snake and Eva walked to the one they shared, and Snake layed on the floor.

"Hey Snake?" Eva said quietly.

"Yeah?" Snake replied.

"Remember when I said you had to sleep on the ground because I didnt know you well enough?"

"Yeah..." Snake said, dirty thoughts flooding his mind.

"I think I do now."

Two weeks later, everything was back to normal. Snake and Eva were officially dating, and they were caught up on all of the work they missed. Snake dreaded the assignment of getting shot, and was forced to make it up. He had a bandage over his other arm. He was headed back to the dorm, when Eva caught up with him.

"So, this was a good story, huh?" Eva said.

"Yeah, it was. I think people should give it a lot more reviews, jackiechan is getting lonely." Snake replied.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. But you know what my favorite part about it is?" Snake said

"What's that?"

There will definately NOT be a sequel.

Eva's face changed.

"Right?" Snake said. There was a pause.

"I'm pregnant." She said.


End file.
